How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
