I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
