he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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