i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
