I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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