So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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