I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Found your dick twin last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
