so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
