we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
