The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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