I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
