I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
