Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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