I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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