brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
