His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
