What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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