Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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