He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize