i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We smell like vodka and hangover
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
