she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
