no, he came in my armpit
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
