But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
