Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize