she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
