it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
