great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
