3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
