ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
