so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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