please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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