By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
