I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
should my penis look like a turkey
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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