Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
