you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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