what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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