I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
