If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just want nice things and good sex
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Text me some of your sweat
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
