You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
