He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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