If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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