I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Life is so much better after having sex.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
