So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
