plz talk dirty to me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
