Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
