hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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