Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
