Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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