PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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