I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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