There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
