we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
