That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
