I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize