The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
