I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
