I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
