she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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