Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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