I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
