The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
