so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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