i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
