I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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