At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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