you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You are the jesus of drinking
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
