he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
